February 23, 2009

Adventures at PantheaCon: Day 4

My fourth time over the hill in 4 days. Not a big deal to some, but more times than I've driven in probably a year. After all, I live in Santa Cruz, and why leave paradise?

I started out with Every Day Reiki - Magickal and Mundane presented by Francena Marie Hancock. Based on Diane Stein's Essential Reiki, this certainly was the calmest, most peaceful workshop I attended. There was an interesting discussion on why do we ask permission before doing Reiki when Reiki can cause no harm. The general conclusion was out of respect and courtesy - just as in the mundane world every repair person rings the doorbell before entering your space to provide their service.

Next I attended a Sacred Circle Dance hosted by The Bay Area Circle Dancers. From the program, "...simple dances to honor the earth and its rhythms, dances of ceremony, ritual, life and death, and the turning of the seasons... to beautiful music from England, Greece, Israel, Russia, Lapland and the Americas, always closing with the moving dance to Charlie Murphy's "Burning Times".

...And the Pope declared an inquisition It was a war against the women, whose power they feared In the holocaust against the nature people Nine million European women died...

Now the Earth is a witch, and the men still burn her
Stripping her down with mining, and the poisons of their wars
Still to us the Earth is a healer, a teacher, a mother
The weaver of a web of life that keeps us all alive...
As in the Self-Blessing Ritual, here was were I felt the most at home. I was with my tribe, with my kin, holding hands with the old woman next to me, mirroring the young girl across the circle, a part of each person present as we matched our steps and moved our hips. The ninety minutes felt like five and I left feeling that I had just accomplished my whole purpose in attending the con - clarity, connection, and community.

The last lecture I went to was Magic of the Self-Your Holy Guardian Angel hosted by Robert Hagar. Designed to encourage one to find one's own inner teacher rather than relying on outside sources, I was reminded of the classic line from Starhawk's Charge of the Star Goddess:

if that which you seek, you find not within yourself,
You will never find it without...

I drove home equally exhilarated as I was exhausted, fell into bed around 4pm and slept for 15 hours. The sun came out on Tuesday, and after work I laid out on the back deck to get some rays on my face. I found myself thinking about the angel in the Lovers card and wondering who my guardian angel could be, when very clearly the Angel Michael came to me.

To be more precise, I had a visitation from my friend Mikey, who died a few years ago from AIDS related complications after getting a cat scratch. Mikey! My bestest buddy from post college days, just beaming down at me with this beatific smile around his busted up nose. He always did look like a prize fighter, Mikey did, but to the core he was a lover.

"Mikey! I've missed you so much!" I cried, tears pouring down my cheeks.

"Why?" His eyebrows crossed quizzically, "I'm right here, you know. You can't miss me if I'm right here." I laughed at the realization. "Girl, I see good things for you," he continued, "Mmm, hmm, good things..."

I somehow expected angels to be winged creatures or beams of light more than a flaming queen, but if Mikey is my new inner teacher, I'm expecting some fun lessons ahead. Well, that's why I'm a pagan... Fun is my spiritual path.

Let My worship be in the heart that rejoices,
For behold—all acts of love and pleasure are My rituals...
Blessed Be!