March 15, 2009

Soul Contracts

I have a client I have been working with for some time now, who is extricating herself from an extremely painful relationship. There is much to the story, of course, including a thirty year history exists between the two, and a teenage child. We discussed the concept of relationship being the greatest teacher, and what (hard) life lessons was she learning with this person. And, more importantly, when would she feel she really had learned those lessons and could karmically graduate?

This made me start thinking about soul contracts. It’s interesting that I was “married” to a woman in a time when gay marriage was illegal and there were no domestic partnerships. As well as writing vows, we went through a series of contracts with a lawyer to establish some of the same benefits & privileges that marriage automatically grants. I’m talking about durable power of attorney for health care, durable power of attorney for finances, wills, living trusts, living together agreements including a pre-nup type agreement, and a parenting agreement. We really had to think things through, especially when we broke up.

I remember sitting at the keyboard typing the words “due to irreconcilable differences” and just losing it. I called my dad who was my biggest source of support at the time, and his wise words, “don’t drag it out”, and the papers were notarized the next day. There’s a lot of talk about gay marriage with Prop 8, but what really needs to be discussed is gay divorce.

While we had planned to go to court for a 2nd parent adoption for our child, we broke up before the process was complete, but we have both stuck to our parenting agreement for over a decade. While I have never been legally acknowledged as my child's parent,( ie no tax benefits, no insurance benefits for her, etc.), certainly I have been the other parent at every PTA meeting, every doctor’s appointment. I have paid for everything out of my own personal sense of ethics and moral obligation.

While it is easy for me to see I have a soul contract with my daughter, it was interesting to review what were my feelings about still having a contract with my ex-spouse, ten years after our divorce. Was there anything I was still hanging onto that makes me emotionally unavailable now? One purpose of the soul contract is for release - conscious and SUBCONSCIOUS release - but that starts with noting what leases (contracts) have I made.

Anyway, I came up with the following soul contracts as an exercise to clarify and create release. Some key questions in writing a soul contract are:

• what are the lessons to be learned
• what price are you willing to pay
• what point will you know that the contract has been fulfilled
• space for amendments - good lourdes, you are human and might change your mind sometime in the future!

I found some parchment paper and thought about using red ink, but there’s only so many contracts I’ll write in blood. I filed my contracts away with other important documents, like my will and house deeds. It will be interesting to see what my client come up with. Meanwhile, here are some of mine as examples:

Soul Contract with My Self
I, KGR, do hereby acknowledge that I am a spiritual being currently living in a physical body. In this lifetime, I have a contract with this body to:

• Maintain this physical body to operate at maximum health and well being
• Nurture and develop emotional intelligence
• Feed this mind and intellect, encourage curiosity and be engaged in creative and productive ways
• Encourage my own process as a spiritual being having a human experience on planet earth
• Foster joy, love, light and laughter
• To experience happiness
• To love and cherish my life mate
• To love and cherish my family: my daughter, my parents and brother, my extended network of friends and my many familiars

This contract may be amended to at any time, and will never expire. All former contracts, karmic and otherwise, are hereby dissolved and released. All past debts are hereby considered paid in full. All future contracts will be made if and only if they are in my highest good. So Mote It Be.

Signed this 4th day of March, 2009

Witnessed by
Juno, Vesta, Athena, Aphrodite and Kuan Yin

Soul Contract with my Child
I, KGR, do hereby acknowledge a soul contract with AXR. In this lifetime, I am here to learn how to mother, nurture and cherish this being. I willingly take on this contract, knowing I have a financial, emotional and spiritual commitment to this being's heath, well-being and development as a person. This contract will never expire although it will be complete in this lifetime. So Mote It Be.

Signed this 4th day of March, 2009

Witnessed by
Jesus, Kuan Yin, Mother Mary

Soul Contract with a Soul Mate
I, KGR, do hereby acknowledge a soul contract with JDR. In this lifetime, I have the lessons to learn of

• Marriage
• Self-love
• Commitment
• Parenting

I willingly took on this contract, knowing that I would pay a price in exchange. I have sacrificed my time and energy for the lessons received.

This contract will expire as of today. I acknowledge that:

• Our marriage is dissolved and we are each free now to pursue new, healthy partnerships
• I have learned self love
• I have transferred my commitment to being co-allies and co-parents
• I make a commitment to keep communication open only as it benefits our child in the highest good.

All karmic debts are hereby released and dissolved between us. The past is complete and we are both set free. All is forgiven for each of these two beings to now move on in their separate life journeys.

So Mote It Be.

Signed this 4th day of March, 2009


Witnessed by
Jesus, Kali Ma, Aphrodite, Pan