June 29, 2011
Notes To Listen Care Fully
• Repeat back what you just heard.
• Pay attention to the body - match their posture, gesture, breathing.
• Make mental notes on your fingers to avoid interrupting. You will remember anything that is important when it is your turn to speak.
• Ask good questions - Go deeper.
• Give all the time in the world.
• Don’t try to fix, solve, or give advice.
• When appropriate, share a story about a similar situation or experience without the expectation that this person will do the same thing. Offer comfort, understanding, empathy and perspective.
• Tell them “I love you” with your eyes while they are talking.
• Follow up somehow - a note, an email, a remark the next day to say: I heard you. I validate you. I know you can work it out. I’m confident in you and appreciate you trusting me with your story.