September 13, 2018

Good Boundaries

   What are good boundaries? Good boundaries are knowing where you end and someone else begins. Think of the turtle, who can go inside his shell for protection when needed. Or the spiny succulent, who appears thorny but is strong and juicy on the inside. Very different from putting up walls, shields, masks or other forms of emotional armor, which can leave one feeling isolated and bereft. But we live in a toxic world full of toxic people, so it's good to be able to protect oneself in a mindful and natural way..

Here’s what our Goddess Oracle has to say, “Durga (Hindu goddess of boundaries) is here to assist you in nurturing wholeness by creating and fixing the limits of your physical space. Establishing clear boundaries is an act of self-love. Having no boundaries gives others the message that you are limitless and want to be treated in a limitless way... Durga says that boundaries are vital because they let others now who you are and where you stand.”

Good boundaries means being mindful of creating inter-dependent relationships which are mutual, reciprocal, and beneficial rather than falling into old patterns of codependency out of desperation and a need to be loved or validated by another. Good boundaries means being able to tell the difference between enabling another or empowering them. 

Good boundaries means being comfortable in saying no. Say no to the energy vampires, to those who would take advantage of your generous nature or manipulate through the use of guilt, shame, or acting like a victim for you to rescue. It's not your job in life to rescue others, nor to be a martyr by constantly sacrifing your time, money, or energy to another's cause. Be the hero in your own story, say yes to yourself, say yes to having good boundaries.